Category Archives: Poems & Musings

135. DEAR NAJIB…

Dear Najib,

How are you?

I hope that when you read this, you are in the best of health at your comfy office at Putrajaya.

Sir, I decided to write to you today because I felt compelled as a citizen to do so.

Like so many fellow Malaysians, we have been speculating anxiosuly about the upcoming 2012 elections – something you have been touching upon in many of your recent media statements.

While I have generally admired Barisan Nasional’s ability to have kept Malaysia’s political pants intact under a watchful global eye and made it a somewhat decent country to live in (as compared to some of our other Southeast Asian or Asian counterparts) I still think that you will lose badly in the next elections.

Here are some of the reasons why:

1. You are not Tun Abdul Razak.

2. You are not Tun Hussein Onn.

3. You are not Mahathir.

4. You are not Badawi.

5. You are not Anwar.

6. You are not Lim Guan Eng.

7. You were not elected into your current position. It was handed over to you against the voting public’s will. What those men are above from 1 – 6, you can never be. You just don’t have aura or personality to lead this country to 2013 and beyond.

8. The world is going to end in 2012, according to the Mayan calendar so even if you win, technically with Planet Earth being destroyed and all that, BN is still expected to lose.

9. There isn’t a mandatory 30% Bumi voting policy when it comes to elections. Just imagine if you had. BN would be landslifing every election until the end of time. *roll eyes & faints*

10. Your wife looks like Botox gone wrong in a bottle. Was she ever on that show called ‘Extreme Makeovers Asia’ by any chance?

11. You just haven’t had as many sodomy cases as Anwar or even dare to. Just think of all the press opportunities if you had. Bad publicity is still publicity and it keeps you at the forefront of any voters mind. Living a life equivalent to plain toast just ain’t gonna cut it, I’m afraid.

12.  Your growth projections for 2012 are highly over-estimated. They seem to echo the same growth projections for your personal bank account since the only growing the nation is seeing is of the pockets of most BN members from government project kickbacks.

13. The BN logo consisting of evenly balanced scales, symbolising fairness, justice and prosperity is outdated and should be replaced with a guy with dollar signs in his eyes.

14. Your 1Malaysia campaign has resulted in a 1-Against-BN campaign whereby the people will now stand united as one to oppose you and your arrogant, delinquent, deluded party.

15. And finally, why Barisan will never win next year’s elections is simply because Altantuya’s ghost will be resurrected come election day by 1Bomoh –  a sub-group of 1Malaysia – where all bomohs in Malaysia will come together for one purpose. To seek justice and truth.

I hope you have found those pointers useful.

If at anytime you require further clarification of the above, please feel free to drop me a line.

I’ll be happy to assist.

Thank you, sir and goodnight.

 

 

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