139. TEN THINGS TO SAY GOODBYE TO IN 2012
Posted by thejellyfarm
I never thought 2012 would make it, to be honest with all the doomsday predictions we’ve been bombarded with ever since the start of the millennium.
But it has and it’s made it here to our calendars in one piece.
So while you’re gathering up emergency supplies, boarding up your homes for impending natural disasters or building a secret underground nuclear-safe hatchet, I’ve been busy thinking about what I’d like to say goodbye to in 2012 and hoping they don’t reincarnate in some other form just in case the world doesn’t burst at its geographical seams this year as predicted.
Fly Eye Sunnies
First up has to be the ugly ‘fly eye’ sunglasses that has been sitting horrendously on the bridges of every person I know since Bono and friends made the “Hold Me, Kiss Me, Touch Me, Thrill Me’ music video from the Batman Forever soundtrack aeons ago. Never have I been seen in them or care to do so in any form whatsoever in this Universe. Please if there was ever one wish I could make for the advancement of humanity into 2012 and beyond, it would have to be this: Ditch those glasses. They are NOT in fashion anymore ladies. It’s the Ray Ban Wayfarers now people.
The Thumb Drive
Once upon a time, we all were IT-savvy-cool kids carrying these little nifty data storage thingamajigs in our pockets or hanging them off our office lanyards happily transferring files from PC to PC. Not anymore folks. Files have grown bigger than Chaz Bono’s bottom and with cloud computing being hyped as the data storage Gods of tomorrow, it’s time to kiss it goodbye and display your antiquated 256MB drive in a museum. Just be careful not to break the glass.
Daisy Dukes – any shorter and you might as well be wearing thongs in public. These super tight, super short shorts whooshed themselves annoyingly onto fashion runways the world over when Jessica Simpson and her perky butt-cheeks said hello to audiences worldwide in ‘The Dukes of Hazzard’ movie. Since then, nothing has been left to the imagination – for the boys that is. Yet, little does anyone know that Jess worked her ass off, literally, every chance she could on the set of ‘Dukes’ to keep those buns ship-shape. So what did we fat-bottomed girls do? We have been waiting it out, bucking the trend as much as we can but it still seems to be around for some hellish godforsaken reason. For the sake of the 99.9% of us normal women out there with derriere’s a size 12 or more, I sure hope 2012 would be the year to burn those things and scatter their ashes out to sea.
2012 will be the year the death knell rings for the pop diva. Beyonce, Britney, Lady Gaga, Katy Perry and perhaps even Adele should start marking the days off for their demise on the their calendars because indie music will once again resurface from the depths of obscurity with the roar and fiery energy of a 2-headed Tolkien dragon. Acts from the US and Australia will lead the way as UK and Europe will try to keep up with their mates from across the pond. With the charts (and the 2012 Grammy nominations) recently seeing the melodic sensibilities of Foster the People, Cults, Cut Copy and Bon Iver, the tables are turning once again, especially in the US, as record executives try to look for the new sounds of tomorrow. Cross reference Milk Music, Lianna La Havas, Friends and Lana Del Ray.
We know those groups, religious and otherwise, died out years ago and went to heaven, or outer space, with Jim Jones, David Koresh and Heaven’s Gate, but seriously, for 2012, if you’re holding VIP status in your local vampire, Scientology, Kabalah, Angel Worshipping or anti-Semitic groups, it’s time to give it up and fly solo. Cults are so last millennium. I think the last really good one was led by this guy called Jesus Christ. For 2012, it’s okay to be the leader of ‘The Cult of One’, standing up for what you believe in. Just try to stay clear of anything that begins with a Harold and ends with a Camping.
It came, it conquered and now it’s just a faded cover page on a year-end issue in a men’s magazine vault. Metrosexuality captured its victims by the jugular and those who succumbed are 1. either having a facial right now as I write this or 2. snapped out of their temporary mental mind funk, reverting back to their good ole dependable Brooks Brother’s rack of pale blue, long-sleeved Oxfords. Metro what now?
The Kardashians (and other reality related stuff)
Reality TV has come a long way since its birth in 1995 with a show called ‘The Real World’ that debuted on MTV and was a hit back then amongst the Gen X college-going students (yes, even me included) Fast forward 15 years later and we’ve got a juicier, meatier version called ‘Keeping Up With The Kardashians’. The show that has spun off more spin offs than CSI and Law & Order put together is everyone’s dirty little secret despite the fact that the Kardashian sisters are boring, predictable and enjoy the distinction of being as stereotyped as they can be as far as pretty little rich girls go and yet, they have ruled the roost in reality TV. We hope that in 2012, the Kardashians decide that less is more which translates to reduced facetime in the media.
Facebook has seen a drop in their memberships since June 2011 and attrition rates on Twitter will soon be following suit as social networking fatigue has set in. Gone will be the days when we logged in at least 10 times a day every hour to check friend updates or tweets. Now it seems, people are slowly realising there’s more to life than staring at a blue and white screen all day long or poking someone till they’re forced to remove you as a friend. O, and don’t even get me started on the privacy issues that could take up an entire day to re-configurate. Also don’t bother checking-in either because really, we don’t care where you are right now or what you’re eating for dessert unless you’re spilling the beans on your next new greatest invention or giving away free money. Been there and done all that. Moving on…..
PS: Google +, did you copy that? 😉
A macaroon (/mækəˈruːn/ mak-ə-roon) is a type of light, baked confection, described as either small cakes or meringue-like cookies depending on their consistency. The original macaroon was a “small sweet cake consisting largely of ground almonds” similar to Italian or Moroccan amaretti. [Wikipedia]
I for one hope the macaroon trend ends right before the flour is added to the sugar because it’s not only sickeningly sweet – it doesn’t even qualify as pastry. It’s just sugar – baked. This diabetic dessert has been all the rage much like how cupcakes were about a year ago and they are available in all sorts of delectable flavours and colours but let me ask ya, how many of you actually ate a whole bagful of ’em without your insulin jab right next to ya?
Mass Produced Goods (courtesy of R. Lim)
Mass consumption has become an evil force that has upset the balance of individuality. From sipping your latte at Starbucks, running in your Nikes or decorating your home with IKEA furniture, mass consumption has sucked the creativity out of us, which is why many are saying goodbye to the herd and setting off into the sunset, DIY style. With no one wanting to look like someone else’s long lost twin, creating a unique footprint for oneself in today’s distracted world is key to standing out from the crowd. This is where DIY has come in. From DIY fashion, inventions and art to DIY crafting, music-making, self-publishing or film making, the availability of affordable technology or tools is enabling these movers and shakers of tomorrow to delve deep into their souls to create something truly authentic to themselves and for others. Even better news; it has also given these individuals a sense of empowerment and inspiration to keep doing what they like doing, with a nice paycheck to follow.
Posted on January 8, 2012, in Food, People, Personal and tagged 2012, Adele, angel worshipping, angels, anti-Semitic, Beyonce, Bon Iver, Bono, check-ins, cloud computing, Cults, Cut Copy, Daisy Dukes, David Koresh, DIY, DIY filmaking, dying trends, dying trends for 2012, Facebook, fly eye sunglasses, foster the people, Grammy nominations 2012, Harold Camping, Heaven's Gate, IKEA, indie music, IT, Jessica Simpson, Jim Jones, Kabalah, Katy Perry, Keeping Up With The Kardashians, lady gaga, Lana Del Ray, Lianna La Havas, macaroons, mass produced goods, metrosexuality, Milk Music, MTV's The Real World, Nike, Pop Divas, reality TV, record labels, religious cults, Scientology, self-publishing, Social, social networking, social networking fatigue, society, Starbucks, The Dukes of Hazzard, The Kardashians, the rapture, The Real World, thumb drive, Top 40 charts, tweets, Twitter, U2, updates. Bookmark the permalink. 5 Comments.