Have you had a dream?

I mean, have you eeeevvver had one of those unforgettable ‘What the EFF?’ dreams you thought was so real you actually felt so emotionally connected to them you couldn’t wake up?

You have?!

Well then, take a token and step right up into this lean, mean dream machine matey!

You’re just ripe for the plucking for a marathon rundown of some of my out-of-this-subconscious-world stuff I’ve been experiencing the last few weeks.

O, and stuff the seat belt – in dream land, safety doesn’t count.

Here’s episode 1 in the series. Sweet dreams…

Episode 1 – The Unstoppable Falling Teeth

by allwomenstalk.com

It was a grimy ole dentist’s office smeared with green fungus and lichen with leaves popping out from the edges of the ceilings as if the place was really built into a 100-year old tree or something.

Besides the usual dentist’s chair and apparatus, there was a small table on the right side of the office.

In it, sat an old Indian horoscope reader who was doing an analysis of my birth chart. He spoke in whispers that permeated any auditory spaces left in the tiny room.

I gathered bits of what I could from his murmurs but their meaning mostly seemed to get lost on me before I even had a chance to grasp them.

Then in comes this gas-mask wearing dentist whom I couldn’t see properly but I remember feeling nervous around him.

Then all of a sudden it happened. One of my teeth started feeling loose and before I knew it, it had fallen to the ground.

As the dentist approached me, I felt more and more of my teeth getting loose.

I remember sitting there numb, trying to stop my teeth from falling but I couldn’t. I kept thinking how embarrassing it would be if I had to wake up the next day with half my teeth gone.

The horoscope reader’s whisperings continued as the dentist tried to calm me but I all I recall was freaking out at the whole bizarre incident.

By the end of the dream, when I eventually collected enough willpower to wake up, I had my hands all over my mouth and cheeks to ensure my teeth were still intact. What a relief when I found that they were still there….


Episode 2 – Of Bus Tickets & Badminton

The year was 1987.

Picture me, a teen geek, Coke bottle glasses and all, standing on the side of a school field at my old secondary school in Singapore.

I was 14 and desperately looking for a place to purchase a bus ticket but there were no counters anywhere.

It was a cloudy dark day, as if it was about to storm real bad. I look to my left and there are the ole familiar buildings –  the library, canteen and volleyball court.

I look to my right and guess what I saw? A bus ticket counter etched under a huge ‘angsana’ tree.

With glee, I run towards to get myself a ticket.

When I get there and ask the person-in-charge for a ticket, he nods his head over to his right and tells me coolly I have to win a game of badminton in order to purchase the ticket.

I was like ‘What the EFF?!’ but went over to the badminton court anyway which had suddenly sprung up on the field. There were already a few people on it, in the midst of a heated doubles match.

I sit by the side, watch a few minutes of the game, wondering when it was my turn to play.

I didn’t have to wait long because just then, one of the players looks and gestures to me to come onto the court to display my skills.

I gladly do so but after the first hit, I realise the shuttlecock has become SUPER HUGE! It expands to become this monstrous gi-normous thing that I wasn’t sure I could hit with my small racket but somehow I did.

The game continues for a few more minutes before I see the ticket counter has magically appeared by the side of the court. The man inside it has become someone else and I think to myself “Not long before I win the game to get the tickets!”

Jubilant, I start enjoying this weird badminton game but before I can finish, the bus ticket counter disappears and I remember feeling so disappointed that I completely stop playing the game altogether and decide to wake up…..

Episode 3 – The Flying Lift

This dream is what I consider my epic dream and if I ever have the time to incorporate this into a screenplay/novel, I daresay it will be a critical scene/plot point in the whole story.

It starts off with me in an abandoned hotel which looks like my primary school back in the 80s. (What’s up with me and schools eh?)

I am desperately trying to get in touch with one of my uncles. The hotel staff inform me that he was checked into the place but none have seen him since.

So I remember snooping around old classrooms trying to find him. Each classroom on each floor brings me back to my school days and I remember feeling pleasure at all the memories that come rushing through of all the events and people each classroom had held for me.

After a while, I decide to take a lift to the top floor of the school (which was 3-storeys high btw) but was confused when I see that the there are lift buttons up to the 75th floor. A young blonde woman comes in and she looks vaguely familiar. After awhile, I realise its the singer, Avril Lavigne. LOL!

copyright Fred Perotta

She tells me she wants to go up to the 75th floor and without a word, I press the ’75’ lift button while I press the lift button for the third floor wondering if Avril was loony since this building only had 3 floors, not 75.

Silently scoffing inside, the lift jerks into motion , picking up unnatural speeds with each floor. I recall feeling very nervous about the whole things because it was going up wayyyy to fast for my liking.

Then instead of stopping at the third floor, it bypasses it and I feel panic by this time as I try to jam my fingers on the button to make the lift stop.

It’s going so fast now, it felt like the lift had already been ejected from the building and it had.

It was flying over the ocean now and the wooden panels of the lift gave way to all glass paneling as the lift zoomed over the choppy, mountain-like waves.

By this time, I was in total meltdown, praying that the lift had enough momentum to carry itself over this ocean towards the nearest land mass.

I look over to Avril and she remains totally unaffected by this strange turn of events.

Halfway, I see a stone bridge emerging from the depths of the ocean and a few tourists with floppy straw hats and cameras taking pictures of their surroundings as an animated tourist guide stands nearby filling the group in on all the intersting sights and sounds of the place.

I remember thinking ‘OMG! This is so cool yet so bizarre!’

The group down at the bridge spots me and Avril in the flying lift and then start waving madly at us. I wave back, still hoping for a miracle.

Finally, the lift lands with a huge ‘Thud!’ on the very edge of an island, right in front of a Japanese ‘ryokan’ type lodge.

I get out of the lift, leaving Avril to her own devices and stumble onto the steps of the ‘ryokan’.

I slide the ‘ryokan’s’ rice paper door violently and enter, determined to find my uncle, but instead it leads me out to a small garden set atop a high hill on the island with a view to die for.

copyright Sunny Fortuna

On my right is a valley that dips and levels off into a village and forest fully submerged under shallow coral reef waters, sparkling in the sunlight. I can’t believe what I see and on my right is a forest with the most gigantic trees I ever saw. I start looking around and after awhile the figure of a man emerges from the forest trees on my right and guess what?

It’s Sherlock Holmes! LOL! Yes, just the man to help me find my missing uncle!

The dream then becomes a blur after that leaving me with a big juicy smile on my face when I woke up and realised ‘Damn! It was just a dream.’….

Episode 4 – Ricky & Sarah’s Bigtime Engagement….

This is a dream I had last night.

In this dream, I was a hotshot drama producer/director based at BBC in London.

I was in this grand Elizabethan hotel suite in London, mucking about, waiting for the rest of my cast and crew to turn up for a production meeting for this new TV drama series we were about to work on.

Entourages were everywhere, whizzing by me, mobiles glued to their ears or ringing off the hook, contracts and schedules being finalised and all sorts of other kinds of wheelin’ and dealin’ you could think of.

Amidst the chaos, my personal assistant approaches me to ask if I wanted a cup of Colombian decaf (go figure, I had Colombian decaf last night). I replied and said it was OK – I would get it myself and wandered off.

At the entrance of the suite, Oli Pettigrew, a host from a series I’m currently working on, arrives.

copyright TV Pop Crunch

He reveals to me that Lord Ricky Gervais, (yes, in my dream he actually gets conferred with a Lordship by the Queen:) ) one of my talents on the show, just announced his engagement to the American singer, Sarah Bareilles.

Believe me, I was not prepared for this. I was like ‘What?! You mean Ricky Gervais?! To Sarah Bareilles?’

Oli nods his head and ‘poofs’ out of my sight, leaving me with a look of disbelief.

Stunned, I stand there, remembering how I didn’t want Ricky ‘ Lord’ Gervais to be married to Sarah B!

‘No! It can’t be! This will ruin my production schedule! Ricky belongs in MY show. He doesn’t need to get sodding married now!’ I think to myself.

Without a minute on the hand to lose, I decide to undertake an investigation. I summon a cab and head out to Ricky’s house. I storm through his grand London townhouse, ending up in his private office where I start pulling out drawers,  scanning through every file and/or document I could find. I then turned my attention to the shelves flanking the room to find and if I had to, discard any evidence of his relationship with Sarah Bareilles.

courtesy of buzzine

When I think I’m done, suddenly the room spins around me and before I realise it, I’m in Sarah Bareilles’ log cabin home in the US.

Once again, I snoop around like a thief, trying to find items that connected Ricky to Sarah in the hopes of destroying them.

As I curiously peruse the wall of photo frames in the room, I hear voices outside.

Peering through a huge glass window in the cosy room, I see Sarah returning from a morning jog through the trees.

I know I’m in big trouble so I scramble to find a place to hide but where, I ask myself.

15 seconds later I opt for the ‘Get out of the house through the back door’ routine but before I could do so, a sequence of loud alarm beeps bulldozes its way through this most dramatic dream.

I sit up in bed, groggy, half-in and half-out of dream land letting the waking seconds severe any connections I had to my subconscious head bringing me back down to solid reality, disappointed that I was mere synapses away from getting the chance to work with Ricky ‘Lord’ Gervais.

Yea, yea, I know what you’re saying – dream on! It was all in your head woman.

Sigh! Guess in the end, it all really was eh? 😉



About thejellyfarm

In real life, I am a television writer and producer...er no...scratch...a television director....noo, scratch....a media loser.....wait, that doesn't sound quite insulting enough....... OK, ahem. In real life, I'm an idiot box expert with a penchant for the creative. In short, I'm a loser with no focus or direction in life. I just go where the creative flow takes me. Mostly it takes me to clogged up drains and stinky oceans but it's going.......going.....somewhere. And this blog is an expression of that mindblowing roadblock. Creative frustration is a great motivator and here is a result of that.

Posted on June 18, 2011, in Personal. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: