49. THE CHUTZPAH LIST

beltNow the title of this blog is ‘Where’s my Estrogen? For the woman with some serious balls’ right? 

Well, so far I’ve yet to show some except with my overproductive mind.

But I had a thunk about what I would do IF I had some serious balls and acted them out and I came out with a short list.

1. I would sleep with a lot of people and break a lot hearts but seeing how I’m not into sex, you’re all safe for the moment. 😛

2. I would slap everyone who offends me in the slightest and I’d slap them tight too.

3. I would do a Bob Fossil (watch video below). No wait! I think I WOULD do a Bob Fossil.

4. I’d nap in front of my boss.

5. I’d primal scream every morning before hitting the shower. 

6. I’d go around for a day making primate ape sounds.

7. I’d ask everyone I know for money to fund my films, good, porno or simply distasteful.

8. I’d frighten the bird doo doo out of a bunch of parrots in an aviary and then give them all a hug 5 seconds later.

9. I’d draw Venn diagrams on all my friends faces to figure out who’s connected to whom. Mutual friends get intersecting circles.        Yeaaah…..

10. I’d imitate Steve Perry from one of Aerosmith’s worst videos/songs “Don’t Wanna Miss A Damn Thong” er…I meant thing. Loser song, if you ask me. It’s like one of those songs you should sing when you’ve lost your way in space or around a girls pubic area. [sigh]

Yea, so that’s my top 10 ball-busting list of stuff I’d do to prove my guts.

If you want, I’ll be taking orders for the above list starting next month, at $59.95 each.

I always love a good dare! 

Toodles!

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About thejellyfarm

In real life, I am a television writer and producer...er no...scratch...a television director....noo, scratch....a media loser.....wait, that doesn't sound quite insulting enough....... OK, ahem. In real life, I'm an idiot box expert with a penchant for the creative. In short, I'm a loser with no focus or direction in life. I just go where the creative flow takes me. Mostly it takes me to clogged up drains and stinky oceans but it's going.......going.....somewhere. And this blog is an expression of that mindblowing roadblock. Creative frustration is a great motivator and here is a result of that.

Posted on July 25, 2009, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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