30. THE SECRET

lipstickPsst! Come straight up here and get comfy under my armpits,  yea?

I’ve got a big secret about femininity here.

Go on. Read on if you don’t want to miss out.

Well, my secret is….if you want to reclaim your femininity, you will have to grab this entity by the balls because she’s the biggest asshole in the world.

Who is she?

She’s your vagina, of course!! Or as Oprah (or as I call her Oppie) describes it, your ‘Vajay-jay.

Together with that fortress of preggers called ‘the womb’, these two rascals play havoc on your moods, appearance and sanity levels every month.

It’s called PMS.

But more than anything, this area is now hitting modern new girls with a level of sexuality that can now be equal to men.

It used to be that men were reputed as the sex-obsessed vermins of the earth but increasingly with sexual freedoms, women are surprisingly getting hornier and hornier.

With the exception of grandmas like me (yes, we still do exist although we are a dying breed), women are ‘blooming’ nicely in the once male-dominated world of sex on demand.

Women now hole…er sorry, hold the remotes to their sex lives and guess what?

They have their thumbs real close to the on/off button. From solo sex to swinging party pleasures, women are demystifying themselves in the bordello.

But is this sexual unraveling feminine?

Are these remote controlling women making themselves as stereotypical as their male partners under the sheets?

Will we women wake up one day to realize that we may have become as one-dimensional as men with our newfound sexual revolution?

I don’t know about all that.

All I do know is that I could do with a birth control pill for my ultra-productive mouth!

 

WEEKLY FEMININE RATING:  flowerflower/5

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About thejellyfarm

In real life, I am a television writer and producer...er no...scratch...a television director....noo, scratch....a media loser.....wait, that doesn't sound quite insulting enough....... OK, ahem. In real life, I'm an idiot box expert with a penchant for the creative. In short, I'm a loser with no focus or direction in life. I just go where the creative flow takes me. Mostly it takes me to clogged up drains and stinky oceans but it's going.......going.....somewhere. And this blog is an expression of that mindblowing roadblock. Creative frustration is a great motivator and here is a result of that.

Posted on June 9, 2009, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.

  1. hahahah ilove this entry! well i don’t know what to say…because back then women to talk about sex i taboo…(remember the marriage blanket?) I guess some women just got carried away…but i think pretty hefty of us still thinks first with their head and not with their ‘other’ mouth

    • oh god, the marriage blanket! wow, is it still around? I thought someone crumpled it into a heap and threw it out their windows already. But yea, I get scared when I see women, especially at clubs. They really look like they’re on the hunt. Prowlers I call them and when they make a catch, it’s like getting a X’mas prezzie as they satisfy their hunger.

      Perhaps the bimbo is the epitome of the woman who thinks with only one side of her brain for she seems to think a lot with the other influential organ more often. 🙂

  2. moi i think it’s great that woman can do what she wants and likes with her errhmmm pussy. she wanted equality she’s got equality. so there dont judge!

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