1. 100% MEAT

pipeLadies and gentlemen, may I present to you the woman of today. The being that rose of out the feminine pad ashes to emerge the strong, sexy, intelligent and charismatic money-spinning goddess that she is now.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, let me present to you, today’s premium beef, choice steak and organically fed chicken breasts. (no pun intended!) 

O, yeah baby! It’s the kind of meat you’d love to sink your teeth into, chew lovingly on and hopefully digest with intestinal ease.

Indeed, that is today’s kind of woman. Brains, beauty, bones and tender meat on any man’s plate.

Oh yes, my friends, many of today’s straight women (let’s leave the other confused ones, including yours truly, out of the picture, for now, eh) may have achieved immortality on the mortal sexual plane of gender equality, but she was and still remains a sex very much objectified. 

Now please, all you guys at the back of the room. Stop looking around, like a stranded meerkat on speed, hastily for the quickest exit out of this article. 

What I’m about to express may just help you score a few chick points with the poultry…ahem…I meant ladies…Now come on boys. Settle your balls down, a’ight? You know that’s NO WAY to treat a lady! Running off at the first signs of cheaper sex elsewhere! Geeezzz! 😛

Now where was I? Ah yes! Women, lovely women! The quintessential paradox, the diabolic ‘dichotomic’ (if there’s even such a word), the fairer sex who lucked out on multitasking and PMS-ing, all at the same time.

Today’s woman wants it all. The money, the career, the husband, the kids and of course the power over men through her sex.

We especially see this trend taking place amongst women in the 20s. There seems to be a regressive stance on feminism. Gone is the Gloria Steinman hard-ass bitch which my generation grew up with and in comes the hard-talking beeeaaatch with a taste for physically overexposing herself and her assets.

This is the new feminism. Bless you Madonna! The power to take control of her sexuality and then flaunt it – mostly in public – is oh, so trendy and desirable these days and the rewards are plenty!Now, sexual objectification as defined by Wikipedia (oh, I do my research, people!) occurs when a person is seen as a sexual object when their sexual attributes and physical attractiveness are separated from the rest of their personality and existence as an individual. They become reduced to instruments of pleasure for another person. 

But that’s the diplomatic explanation. My definition is simple.


And apparently, feminists (like me, I suppose) find this concept ‘objectionable’. Why, to me that’s insulting in itself because it makes us feminists look like our grandma’s old-fashioned pantaloons! 

And I’m not! 

A pantaloon, that is.

I merely have a sharper and higher IQ than most tramps with a dyke’s sense of dressing. 

In fact, I consider myself the world’s best example of a cover-up! LOL!

But in the fast-paced, zip-zap world of today where life is a 2-minute Maggi noodle, baring it all in public is common. 

In fact it’s the ‘Yawn’ ….norm….

For me, it’s passé, cliché, heck even boring (well, at least to a pseudo dyke like me.) 

Modesty is for grandmothers while class and dignity is for mums. 

I find many of today’s young women aspiring to be dignified tramps, but unfortunately, the combination just don’t mix. It’s like smoking a cigarette and a Cuban cigar all at the same time. The results can be treacherous, if not life-threatening!

Just look at all the young celebrities today, especially the ones who came out of the Mickey Mouse Club and observe how cancerous their influence has been on the younger generation of tween girls.

They know that their sex is their ticket to fame, fortune and utmost glory until they lapse into a dark, depressed, lonely world of fame, fortune, drugs and alcohol. Talk about breaking through the illusion. But is that the kinds of example we want our future young women to follow?Is this kinda raunchy, porn-like lifestyle worth it?

Is it worth baring it all? Selling your soul?

And the answer is hell yeah!!!!

Because being objectified is power. It’s a boost to the fragile feminine ego and state of mind and it brings in the cha-ching!

Tell me, which of you women haven’t dreamt about stripping for your boyfriends or hubbies at least at ONE point in your life? How many of you haven’t fantasized about wearing barely there outfits and re-enacting a climatic scene from a Mills and Boons romance novel?

These are straight women. (We’ll get to the lesbians later people) It’s inherent in the genes of all women to be desired; to be flaunted and most of all to be beautiful in the eyes of the male. The pretty dresses, the strappy shoes, the fake lashes. Seems most women’s genetics cannot run away from that, unless you’re like me – pseudo dyke who hates dresses and high heels coz they give me blisters and other alien like warts on my sensitive feet!

But it’s not about the shoes or the dresses or how much a woman bares. It’s how far we take this need to be desired and drooled on by men – This obsession to be validated as a woman through our sex and sex alone.

Being sexy is one thing, but having no intriguing personality and intelligence behind it is like eating Ramly burger without the Ramly, know what I mean?

But that’s what’s being flouted and glorified in the media these days – Girls with zero personalities, amoeba bodies and Mew Mew handbags. Yes, I’m talking about you, Ms Paris Hilton. Go get a brain transplant when you get the chance, will ya? 

And with that said, I’m going back to my pole to practise my moves. I’ve got a perfomance to give tonight.

In my imagination, that is…..




About thejellyfarm

In real life, I am a television writer and producer...er no...scratch...a television director....noo, scratch....a media loser.....wait, that doesn't sound quite insulting enough....... OK, ahem. In real life, I'm an idiot box expert with a penchant for the creative. In short, I'm a loser with no focus or direction in life. I just go where the creative flow takes me. Mostly it takes me to clogged up drains and stinky oceans but it's going.......going.....somewhere. And this blog is an expression of that mindblowing roadblock. Creative frustration is a great motivator and here is a result of that.

Posted on May 9, 2009, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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